We have been raised in old paradigm relationship models of fear, codependency, unhealthy intrusion of energy, emotional avoidance and toxicity, and abuse and neglect of all kinds.


One key aspect of these old paradigm models is the false belief that by merely being in a relationship, whether a spousal, family or otherwise, it affords the automatic right for boundary intrusion and abuse. We learn very early that intimacy in these kinds of environments feels very uncomfortable and we develop a deep fear of closeness, and an unwillingness to trust and open to others. We learn to repress and contract our energy so we do not feel this discomfort and pain and we become numb to much of our emotional and bodily sensations.

Being in a relationship with someone does not give them or you the right to cause harm of any kind. When we have experienced this model growing up, we have a tendency to normalize this sort of intrusive, toxic behavior and then repeat this normalization by drawing people with similar abusive, intrusive or irresponsible energy patterns into our life. Once they arrive and we say yes and begin to tolerate their bad behavior, we become our own jailer and abuser.

It is our choice to let these energies into our lives in the first place that actually causes the problem. 

When we have healthy self-love and inner esteem we set up a boundary right away with this kind of toxic behavior and avoid it or block it from our experience.

The victim pattern is carried from generation to generation as abusive, toxic patterns are normalized and then reselected and repeated.

It is up to us to stand up and break the chain.

We must take the responsibility to heal the old model that has been implanted within our own energy field. This is healing and self-empowerment.

When we understand how to have healthy boundaries for ourselves, we will attract people who we do not need to be defending and protecting against in our intimate inner world.

Love is not a battlefield. It is an oasis.

We cannot surrender and relax and open into intimacy when we are being attacked on a day to day basis by toxic, intrusive behaviors.

It is up to you to heal and clear this inherited old paradigm behavior model.

If you need assistance on your healing journey, join my Becoming the Beloved Mentorship. We will find these hidden inner patterns and learn to heal and remove them from your experience.

Email me to schedule an exploratory call today at [email protected]

May much love enter your path,

Elaine Marie Rose

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